~ Seeing. Not Looking ~

Childhood dreams.
We all had them, don't we?
Dreaming of what our future will look like and wishing for certain things to happen.
A job, a special man/woman, kids or no kids, places we wanted to see, a new country to live in and so on...

I had some of them too.
I wanted to leave germany and live in an English speaking country.
Didn't know if I wanted to go to the USA or to the UK back then. That choice was made later.
And I had a goal.... a job I wanted to have.
No kids, I detest them.
Never wanted to marry too.
And the not so rational part of me, the daydreaming one, wanted to run away from everything boring, everything tedious.
Off to adventures and something new.

A few of them I already achieved.
I'm not married and have no kids.
Yay.....

But I never ever wanted to be an "office clerk" but ... that's what I am now.
Sad sad.
On my "things I could imagine as my work"-list that job was somewhere down around place 40....

And today, when I can see the stars breaking through the bright lights coming from the city, I look up and feel myself on the verge of tears.
The rational part of me shouts: See! That's what you wanted since you were little! Those stars. You wanted to study them!
And my daydreaming self whispers to someone out there, hidden in the depths of the universe, to appear at my doorstep and run away to the stars with me.