~ Seeing. Not Looking ~

This is a huge step backwards I guess.
I said I slowly start to understand the concept of sentiment, caring and all that stuff.
I had two years to learn, two years with people that showed me how to act like a human being. And I've adapted their behaviour.
I had no reason to run anymore, there was always someone to grab my hand and in response I gave everything my misguided heart was capable of.
I tried so hard, did my best, lost inhibitions.. slowly... and was proud.
But when you're (involuntary) away for a few months people you hold dear and love seem to forget you.
Wasted years, wasted gain. The Everything I gave wasn't enough.
And it probably never will.

And there... at the familiar edge, on the verge of doing something stupid, when all you do is falling and reaching for something only you're able to see... there's no one anymore to capture you, no encouraging smile.
So I do what I've always done best.
Running, falling, searching for the place and time where I finally belong.

And one more time I am proven right...
... that caring is not an advantage.